Transcript
00:00 – Transcriber: Hakkı Uzun Reviewer: Ng Huynh Anh Thu
00:19 – After 11 years of living under construction, I’ve learned a few things about building a house and about building a life.
00:28 – One thing I know for sure life isn’t lived in the finished house, it’s lived in the construction zone.
00:36 – And yet so many of us postpone happiness until the project is finished.
00:42 – I’ll be happy when the house is done, when the business succeeds, when the kids are settled, when I retire, when life finally calms down.
00:54 – But what if life never completely calms down?
00:57 – What if there’s always another project, another delay, more construction?
01:03 – I learned this lesson when my husband, Cole, and I bought our house in 2015. We wanted to renovate without taking on debt,
01:11 – so we saved for each project and did almost everything ourselves: roofing, plumbing, electrical, windows, crawling under the house, you name it.
01:22 – We did everything. We worked evenings and weekends. It’s taken us 11 years so far.
01:33 – We didn’t have a perfect blueprint, honestly. We barely had a plan. We simply started one project at a time as we could afford it.
01:43 – And while the house may never be completely finished, the lessons we learned while building have shaped everything.
01:53 – What if joy isn’t something waiting for us on the other side of the mess? What if it’s available for us right here in the middle of it?
02:02 – Because while we think we are busy building the career, the family, the business, or the future, life is busy building us.
02:13 – And maybe that’s the real gift of the construction zone. So after living more than a decade in one.
CHAPTER 2 — BUILDING WITHOUT A PERFECT PLAN
02:23 – Here are five lessons from the construction zone that have shaped the way I think about life.
02:29 – Lesson number one: you don’t have to hammer out the details. Cole and I dreamed of owning a home in Carlsbad, California.
02:38 – And even though we were a blended family with five kids and almost no savings and felt so far behind financially that home ownership seemed impossible.
02:48 – And one day, a flyer with a house for sale landed on our doorstep. Cole fell in love with the property.
02:55 – I hated it. All I could see was dirt and grass and an old green shack next
03:02 – to the freeway that needed more work than we could afford, and we didn’t even have a down payment. Where would the kids sleep?
03:10 – But Cole brought two lawn chairs and a bottle of wine into the backyard, and as the cars sped by,
03:18 – he described the home that he could already see: the future master suite, a mechanic’s garage, his dream workshop, and a rental that would fund our retirement.
03:30 – So I borrowed his vision, and even though we had no plan, I said yes.
03:38 – We didn’t know how we’d make it work. We applied for a loan and my mom helped us with the down payment. And then, we simply began.
03:47 – So many of us postpone our dreams because we don’t know every step. But you don’t build a house or a life, all at once.
03:57 – You build it, one faithful decision at a time.
04:01 – And even if you do have someone somewhat of a plan, I promise you it’s not going to go the way you expect. Number two: it’s going to be messy.
CHAPTER 3 — EMBRACING THE MESS
04:11 – Construction is not pretty. Drywall dust, mud, mold, supply delays, unfinished rooms, endless trips to Home Depot and the dump.
04:22 – My perfect manicure was a thing of the past and nothing ever, ever looked finished.
04:28 – After three years, it finally dawned on me, this was my life. I was living in construction.
04:37 – I stopped expecting growth to look tidy.
04:41 – I accepted that progress is probably covered in dust, but for years I hesitated to invite people over because I was embarrassed by the mess.
04:50 – But people came anyway. My mom moved in and lived with us for seven years.
04:57 – Friends stayed for months, family moved in and out, but no one ever complained about the dust.
05:05 – They weren’t looking for perfection. They were looking for connection. The mess was temporary.
05:14 – The memories were permanent. Lesson number three: Don’t lose your humor. At one point, one of Cole’s clients gave us a brand new toilet.
CHAPTER 4 — FOUNDATIONS OF CHARACTER
05:24 – So Cole brought it home, placed it right inside the front door, and there it sat for months.
05:30 – When Christmas arrived, I decided that if the construction was not leaving, it was going to become part of the decor.
05:36 – The ladder that had lived in the living room for months was decorated with tinsel and ornaments.
05:43 – My friend Stacy brought over a large Santa and we placed him on the toilet and we gave him a home decorating magazine.
05:51 – Sometimes joy isn’t found after the inconvenience is gone, sometimes joy is found by decorating the ladder in the middle of the room.
06:00 – Lesson number four: Building something beautiful builds you. Seven
06:07 – years into the project. We finally had enough money to pour the foundation for the garage, not build the garage. Just pour the foundation.
06:16 – Nobody celebrates foundations. Friends don’t come over and say, wow, look at that amazing concrete slab.
06:25 – But everything beautiful that came afterward depended on what no one else could see. I thought we were laying the foundation for the house.
06:34 – But looking back, we were laying the foundation for the people we were becoming.
06:42 – Lesson number five: The house is never really finished. Every time we thought we were done, another project appeared.
CHAPTER 5 — THE JOURNEY IS THE DESTINATION
06:52 – Eventually, I realized that if I waited until everything was finished before allowing myself to be happy, I’d never get there.
07:02 – We do the same thing with life.
07:05 – I’ll be happy when I retire, when I lose weight, when I sell my business., when I pay off the mortgage.
07:14 – People still ask if the house is finally finished, and I smile now because I know the answer.
07:21 – The goal was never simply to finish the house, the goal was to build a home. In somewhere along the way,
07:31 – I realized the real construction project wasn’t the house, it was me.
07:38 – And the funny part is that after 11 years, the house is almost finished. Our kids are grown.
07:46 – Apparently, our construction timeline outlasted their childhood.
07:51 – The future arrives whether your project is finished or not, and that’s why life cannot be postponed.
08:00 – So whatever you’re building, your career, your family, your business, your health, or your faith, don’t wait for the ribbon cutting ceremony before you start living.
08:13 – Enjoy the people who are already in the room. Laugh at the mess. Notice what is being built in you
08:22 – because your unfinished life isn’t a problem to solve, It’s where your character is being built. Thank you.
